Back from my walk and feeling a little more positive

Image courtesy of http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1076161


Exercise doesn't always help me kick myself up the attitude and throw off the lies that the depression tries to whisper into my mind... but it works more often than not.

Partly it's physical: a result of the endorphins that getting out, getting my blood flowing and my lungs working, produces.

Partly, it's pure psychology. Exercise is both a weapon in my arsenal, and a result in and of itself. I feel strong and dedicated while I'm doing it, and accomplished after it's finished. And if I hurt a little bit afterwards... sore muscles, blisters, bruised knuckles if I've been careless with my boxing wraps... well, that's all the better, truth be known. I like having physical reminders that I've pushed myself hard afterwards... they're like a sensory reminder that I've achieved something.

This evening, I'm delighted to say, I have all the sensory reminders I could wish for. This was the first long walk I'd done in these particular shoes, and dear gods, have I given myself blisters! Two on one heel, one long one down the blade of my foot, and another raw-but-not-broken-skin patch that may or may not blister on my instep. Wow. I know I should say, 'ooops', but I'm too damn busy being proud of myself.

And I'm pretty pleased with the walk numbers-wise as well. I used both my pedometer and my heart rate monitor while I walked (I love numbers, and I love gadgets that track things for me). In the 2 1/2 hours (2 really, when you take out the 1/2 hour for grocery shopping) I spent walking, I covered 7.75km (just under 5 miles, I think). There were a fair few hills - some reasonably steep - in the route, so I'm happy with the pace of just under 4km an hour. Plus, I spent the half-hour walk back from the supermarket humping 10kg (22 lb) of groceries in my backpack, so that slowed me a little on the way back, and amped up the calorie burn.

Speaking of which, my heart rate monitor informs me this was 1,150 calories worth of exercise, so I am, I think, well pleased with myself. Plus that means I'm now sitting on 26km for the week; so with the walk to and from work tomorrow, and a little venture out at lunchtime, I'll actually make my 30km target this week - w00t!

Tonight's route took me around many of the streets in my neighbourhood initially. I live in one of those border areas that has the wealthy on one side, and the... not quite so wealthy... on the other. My route took me through parts of both, and I spent some time just being with the contrast. From there, it took me up through Cornwall Park, which is a gorgeous part of Auckland that I'm blessed to live near, and I enjoyed the Spring growth on the giant oaks and puriris I walked past; and the unbelievably cute lambs, out grazing with their mothers (and wow, they've grown since I was last up there!)

*soft smile* - and yes, that's the kind of feeling of achievement and balance I get from exercise that tends to just steamroll all over whatever the depression is trying to tell me about myself - all the anger and the frustration and the fear and the not-good-enough-ness.

It doesn't always work, of course. Nor does it last. But I'm glad it's worked tonight; and I'm grateful that, for this moment at least, I feel balanced and content.

Blessings


Starfire