Ups and Downs - c'est la vie, I guess

Image courtesy of http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1093387

The past few days have been a mixed bag when it comes to diet and exercise.

For a start, something I ate Friday night violently disagreed with me all night (and much of Saturday) which had both positive and negative repercussions. On the (sort of) positive side, I pretty much didn't eat anything all Saturday. On the (definitely) negative side, after almost no sleep and the aforementioned inability to eat anything, I was also in no condition to go hiking with my team for our Trailwalker training walk either.

Sunday saw me all but recovered though, so I decided to go for a long-ish walk within the city on my own, and went for a wander around to a friend's place. The route ended up being 11.5km (I have no idea what that is in miles... I'm guessing somewhere around 7 1/2) over mild hilly terrain; and including the time it took me to stop and wait for various lights to change, it was just under 3 hours, with a calorie burn of 1,150.

I was semi-healthy eating-wise for the day as well - certainly I could have done better, but I could have done a lot worse as well. So I'm officially writing the weekend up as a partial victory.

Monday was a complete rest day from exercise - mainly because I was having something called an 'oesophageal manometry and 24-hour impedance study' done to see if they can narrow down the cause of the cough o' doom that's been plaguing me and stopping me sleeping since back in January now. This involve sticking tubes down my nose and throat and leaving them there for 24 hours, then instructing me to 'go away and do everything I'd normally do'. Unfortunately, many of the things I'd normally do (including eating normally) were rendered impossible by the dificulty swallowing, talking and breathing around the damn tube... so I ended up eating less, and more slowly than I normally would... which probably isn't a bad thing.

Yesterday I had the tube taken out, and spent the day waiting for the resultant soreness in the back of my throat to pass. Which meant I didn't eat as much as I normally would (again), but at the same time, also meant I didn't make it to the gym. I did, however, walk in to work and back, so with that and my usual wandering around in the course of daily life, I managed to clock 4km on the pedometer: not great, but far better than nothing.

I'd planned on going to boxing this morning, but to be honest, when the alarm went off at 5.15, I was just in no condition push myself. So I promised myself I'd walk in to work again today (and maybe walk home again for lunch if the weather doesn't pack in). Work and back twice will give me a total of 6km for the day, before daily wanderings are added into the mix. So if I can do that and then use today as a chance to focus in on my eating... eating mindfully and choosing foods that are more healthy, rather than less; I think that overall, I'll be able to chalk up the day on the side of success.

Blessings


Starfire

Back from my walk and feeling a little more positive

Image courtesy of http://www.sxc.hu/photo/1076161


Exercise doesn't always help me kick myself up the attitude and throw off the lies that the depression tries to whisper into my mind... but it works more often than not.

Partly it's physical: a result of the endorphins that getting out, getting my blood flowing and my lungs working, produces.

Partly, it's pure psychology. Exercise is both a weapon in my arsenal, and a result in and of itself. I feel strong and dedicated while I'm doing it, and accomplished after it's finished. And if I hurt a little bit afterwards... sore muscles, blisters, bruised knuckles if I've been careless with my boxing wraps... well, that's all the better, truth be known. I like having physical reminders that I've pushed myself hard afterwards... they're like a sensory reminder that I've achieved something.

This evening, I'm delighted to say, I have all the sensory reminders I could wish for. This was the first long walk I'd done in these particular shoes, and dear gods, have I given myself blisters! Two on one heel, one long one down the blade of my foot, and another raw-but-not-broken-skin patch that may or may not blister on my instep. Wow. I know I should say, 'ooops', but I'm too damn busy being proud of myself.

And I'm pretty pleased with the walk numbers-wise as well. I used both my pedometer and my heart rate monitor while I walked (I love numbers, and I love gadgets that track things for me). In the 2 1/2 hours (2 really, when you take out the 1/2 hour for grocery shopping) I spent walking, I covered 7.75km (just under 5 miles, I think). There were a fair few hills - some reasonably steep - in the route, so I'm happy with the pace of just under 4km an hour. Plus, I spent the half-hour walk back from the supermarket humping 10kg (22 lb) of groceries in my backpack, so that slowed me a little on the way back, and amped up the calorie burn.

Speaking of which, my heart rate monitor informs me this was 1,150 calories worth of exercise, so I am, I think, well pleased with myself. Plus that means I'm now sitting on 26km for the week; so with the walk to and from work tomorrow, and a little venture out at lunchtime, I'll actually make my 30km target this week - w00t!

Tonight's route took me around many of the streets in my neighbourhood initially. I live in one of those border areas that has the wealthy on one side, and the... not quite so wealthy... on the other. My route took me through parts of both, and I spent some time just being with the contrast. From there, it took me up through Cornwall Park, which is a gorgeous part of Auckland that I'm blessed to live near, and I enjoyed the Spring growth on the giant oaks and puriris I walked past; and the unbelievably cute lambs, out grazing with their mothers (and wow, they've grown since I was last up there!)

*soft smile* - and yes, that's the kind of feeling of achievement and balance I get from exercise that tends to just steamroll all over whatever the depression is trying to tell me about myself - all the anger and the frustration and the fear and the not-good-enough-ness.

It doesn't always work, of course. Nor does it last. But I'm glad it's worked tonight; and I'm grateful that, for this moment at least, I feel balanced and content.

Blessings


Starfire